Focus? What focus?

11 March 2020

Well, here I am again, two and a half weeks between posts. Sigh. No shame though. I think shame is a horrible commodity, and I refuse to feel shame anymore. Not for my weight. Not for my mistakes. Not for taking longer to accomplish goals than I would like. Shame is debilitating. It assaults the soul . . . the mind, the will, and the emotions . . . and leaves its victims wounded, often beyond repair. No more shame. Life is to be lived, mistakes and all. It is what it is. I'm here now, and that's a good thing.

Something I have pondered, especially lately, is my need and desire for focus.

I tend to be much like Dug, the dog in the movie "Up!" Dug is a sweetheart of a pup who is easily and often distracted. "Squirrel!" He nearly always wears a smile. In fact it takes an awful lot to bring Dug's spirits down. He is a loyal and faithful friend. He is also prone to succumb to distractions. It takes great effort for Dug to stay the course and remain focused on the task at hand. And I often feel like I am Dug.

Case in point: I pulled out my laptop to begin typing a new blog after spending at least thirty to forty minutes watching YouTube videos. After typing less than two full paragraphs, I set the laptop aside to stir the soup I'm warming for dinner, which led me to set the table for my husband and me. I then went into my master bathroom to use the toilet, and remembered noticing last night that my bathroom countertop was in need of cleaning. So off to the garage I trekked to get a nitrite glove, then back to the bathroom, where I pulled out the disinfecting cloths and wiped down the counter. Then I had to wipe down the toilet, so while I was at it, I popped some toilet bowl cleaner in there to freshen that. Back out to the laptop (obviously) to type some more. But that will be interrupted any minute so I can again stir the soup and make a salad. Thank God for the auto save feature on this site.

Now here I am, an hour later, back on the laptop. We've eaten dinner and I cleaned the kitchen while my dear hubby collected the trash to take out to the can. There shouldn't be many interruptions for a while. Correction: I am intermittently texting with my eighty-six year old father. As I have mentioned previously, he and my mom live in a nice assisted living facility nearby; he is there to watch over his bride of sixty-three years, whose health is failing. This week their facility eliminated all nonessential visiting due to the Corona virus (Covid-19), so I haven't been over to see them since Sunday. I was texting to ask if he wanted me to call him on Skype, but he decided we should forego it for tonight since immediately upon returning from dinner and getting into her chair, my sweet old mother fell asleep.

Focus. That's the topic at hand. And there are so many things I want to turn my attention to that I feel like I am flitting from one thing to another. My YouTube channels are a perfect example. I enjoy makeup, always have. Well there must be hundreds or thousands of channels devoted to feminine beauty, and I watch about eight of those. Then there's the topic of homesteading/prepping (not the same thing), and I watch a bunch of channels devoted to that. I watch channels about whole food plant-based eating, health, wellness, cooking, and baking. And there are some ministries I follow and enjoy learning from. YouTube can easily be a time-sucker for me. And when I allow my time to be occupied in stuff that isn't meaningful, then I've given away a precious treasure I can never reclaim. Time. That's not to say I haven't learned a lot from many of the videos I have watched. I have. But I have also allowed YouTube and social media to be the "Squirrels!" to my attempts to remain focused and on task.

I think this blog may have to be a two-parter.  There's more I want to say, but I'm having trouble staying focused. See?

Until next time . . .