Life's interruptions

21 February 2020

Trying to stay on a healthy eating plan for weight loss. Deciding to write at least weekly and post blogs regularly. Setting up a system for decluttering my home. Why is it when I set my course to focus on specific tasks or endeavors, with the best intentions to follow through, my momentum is thwarted by life's interruptions? I have had my share recently, and for at least some of them, I am the responsible party.

For the past 2-plus years I have been following a specific eating regimen, which has allowed me to shed about 70 pounds. But during our most recent holiday season, for some unfathomable reason, I decided that I could engage in culinary debauchery rather than continue on the highly successful path I had been following. I didn't simply stray from my course; I careened off the highway at breakneck speed from Thanksgiving into Christmas, and beyond into the new year. Here we are with almost 2 full months of 2020 behind us, and I have yet to reign myself in. I hope that with this public mea culpa I will be able to drag my sad, sorry wagon back up onto the path and begin again making forward movement. Life interruption #1: holiday indulgences and ensuing gluttony.

Nearly two months ago, I posted my first blog in over a year with the express desire to post at least weekly moving forward. I posted three blogs in succession at more or less a week's interval between each, and then . . . nothing for eleven days. I'm here now. And granted, a week and a half between blogs instead of a week might not seem like that big a deal. But if I let time lapse now, it will become increasingly easy to let longer breaks happen until I'm not writing with any regularity. And that means I would have let myself down again. I don't want to be that person anymore. I've spent my entire life being her. The girl, the woman who makes promises to herself only to break them. If I had a friend who did that to me, I don't think we'd stay friends for long. Life interruption #2: giving in to old behavior patterns that don't propel me toward success.

I have never been able to claim personal discipline and organizational skills as two of my strongest character traits. Some would say I do not possess them in any measure. I would like to think I am a work in progress. It may sometimes be slothfully slow, but progress is progress. And I have taken significant steps toward decluttering recently. I finally let go of my thirty-eight-year old wedding gown, keeping the dress thirty-one years longer than I kept the husband. I boxed up some lovely old glassware for the purpose of selling it or giving it away. It had been given to my mother years ago, and she in turn, gave it to me, though I have never used it. It no longer needs to take up valuable real estate in my China cabinet collecting dust. Just this past week, I listened to a webinar on the subject of decluttering and home organization and decorating, in which the guest made a simple yet profound statement. She said that when someone, anyone, gives us something for our home, the only thing we owe that person is a sincere and heartfelt thank you. We do not owe them our promise to keep the item they gave us. Life interruption #3: old habits and faulty thinking.

To be fair, my excuses for the last two are genuine. First, my mother's health has been in a steady decline for a while, but in recent months, the downhill slide has increased exponentially. I see my parents most every day, and Mom's deterioration is unmistakable. She is now in Hospice care, not because we believe her death is imminent, but in order for Hospice to provide her with palliative care, and my father with extra help and support. Miraculously, Mom will see her eighty-ninth birthday tomorrow. I wasn't sure she'd be here to celebrate it, but by the grace of God she is.

And second, our daughter-in-law delivered our seventh grandchild (who happens to be our first granddaughter) two weeks ago, five weeks premature. A week later, we loaded up the car and headed north by about fours hours to spend a day and overnight with them to meet our sweet little princess. We were overjoyed by her arrival, and by getting a few precious hours to hold and cuddle her.

Finally, despite our desire to step into retirement, we are not there yet. Severing our professional ties now would be tantamount to stepping off a moving bus into oncoming traffic. Certainly not the best choice for a sound future. It would be far safer to wait until the bus arrives at its destination before getting off.

The bottom line is this: not all of life's interruptions are inconsequential. Many are significant and even critical. They require our focus and involvement. They demand of us that we give them our attention and action, which means that what we had planned to do must be shelved until "later." Whenever later turns out to be. And, I suppose, this also means we need to forgive ourselves for not adhering to a preset schedule or for falling off the wagon. If it really is important enough to us, then we will find a way to make it happen.

I will get back on track with my eating, one meal at a time. I will embrace the discipline of writing and posting each week, no matter what is going on. And I will take up the challenge to declutter my home, keeping what brings us joy, and letting go of what doesn't. In the process, I know I will be replacing chaos and clutter with purpose and peace.

Until next time . . .