I suppose it's a good thing that at this point in my blogging career, there isn't anyone reading my posts. My MO (Method of Operation) has been to get all fired up, all gung-ho, and write a brilliant post about how I am fed up with the status quo . . . usually my weight . . . and declare and proclaim that the time for change is NOW! Then spout my litany of from-now-on-I-will do such and such, and thus and so. Then, well . . . (cue the crickets).
That's not to say I'm not well-meaning when I post my deep and philosophical thoughts. But inertia is a difficult force to overcome. Especially inertia that has been in place for forty-five years. (Holy crap, I'm getting old!) You see, I just posted a book review yesterday, which allowed me to not only remember I have a blog, but to actually look at my last post. That was on November 30, 2013. Voila. There you have it. The ugly confession. The mea culpa. The from-now-on. And how did I do?
Today is April 8, 2014 and my weight remains unchanged. Since then, I was sick as a dog for 6 or 8 weeks starting a few days before Christmas. It resulted in both ear drums rupturing and me losing most of my hearing for about 6 weeks. I had to have a tooth extracted. And there have been other family crises, big and small. Basically, the first quarter of 2014 has sucked. I do, however, have hope for the remainder of the year. So what's my focus now? Still self-improvement. Still an aching desire to find peace and balance in my life, and yes, to lose weight and find a comfortable place for me.
I've also really started to look at my life, our life. What we do. What we buy. What we use and how we do things. And I'm finding joy and satisfaction in activities that are self sustaining. For instance, I haven't bought bread in months. I bake our bread now, using what I believe is basic, good quality flour. I found a recipe that I like, and the bread comes out delicious every time. But it's more than just good tasting bread that is satisfying. I like the way the house smells when it's almost ready to come out of the oven. I enjoy thumping it on the underside to make sure it's done. I like melting some butter on top while it's still hot to create a softer crust. I like how my son teases me mercilessly because I once commented in front of him on the beauty of the bread's crumb, it's internal texture. I bake a loaf about 3 times a week, and each time he'll tell me how good it is, and adds, "And you know, Ma . . . it has a great crumb! I've never seen such amazing crumb!"
I've been making my own laundry soap for a few years now too. It just costs so much less to make it, and every two to three months when it's time for a new batch, it only takes me about twenty minutes. There is no argument for going back to buying overpriced detergent that makes sense to me now.
Until next time . . .