Beginning again . . .

27 January 2020

Years ago I started this blog as an outlet for my thoughts, and for a means of accountability. My life and purpose had been radically changed as my children grew to adulthood and one after the other, moved out. In order to make sense of it all, I reached out with my words to whomever might happen upon them. I welcomed the responses I received with gratitude. They meant I wasn't alone grappling with the ever-present question, "Who am I now?" And the accountability I craved was one more attempt to end the battle my body and I had waged against each other for fifty years. Blogging gave me a place to rejoice in the victories and lament the pitfalls. It was going well until I received a note from a dear old friend, a well-meaning friend to be sure, who lovingly pointed out that I should paint with a broader brush. That I am more than this issue with my weight, and that there were other, more interesting things about which to write. I allowed those words of correction to derail me, and thus lost the focus and drive to continue regularly posting. I harbor no ill will toward my friend. The comments were meant to encourage me and expand my view.

Looking back though, I now realize that what I was doing, I was doing for myself. While I wanted feedback from and engagement with readers, and while I loved hearing that something I said had helped someone else feel less alone, my motives were self-serving. I did the work of writing and posting because it helped fulfill me in some way. And once I realized that, I knew I wanted to pick up where I had left off. I genuinely enjoy having an outlet for the thoughts and questions swirling in my brain. And unlike before, I now write with the hope that my words will resonate with others. That people will feel less isolated when they recognize themselves and their circumstances in me and mine.

I come to this forum with the intention to write regularly and often. Once the wheels are used to turning again, perhaps I will write more. I will write about my life, my faith, my dreams, aspirations, and struggles, and whatever else pops into my quirky middle-aged-plus brain. I will write about being sixty for the first time, because after all, every passage, event, and benchmark in our lives is a maiden voyage, right? Do we ever really take stock of the fact that for all of our lives, we are learning on the job? Growing up, getting married, becoming parents, building (or enduring) a career, preparing for retirement, even facing life-threatening illness . . . each one is a new first. We are figuring it out as we go, and oddly enough, about the time we've got it pretty well figured out, it'll be time to go. And that too will be a first.

Visit https://jamesclear.com/

When James Clear, New York Times Bestselling author of Atomic Habits, and renowned expert in the development and benefits of habits, decided to write a blog post twice a week, no matter what, he knew he was committing to this discipline regardless of whether he had written one sentence or a hundred. Whether what he wrote was crap or brilliance (my words, not his). It was establishing the habit of consistently writing that initiated the extraordinary success he is experiencing today. Until now I haven't been the kind of person who exhibited traits of discipline and consistency in my undertakings. I want that to change, and I'm the only one who can change it. If not now, when, right?

I hope you will visit me here often, and that we can share our journeys and lives together. We can encourage one another and build a community of friends. I know this world can sometimes seem like it's getting uglier and darker with each passing day, but I'd like to think that every positive interaction lightens the atmosphere and brightens the world.

Until next time . . .